Awesomely Bad Songs On My Ipod

A few weeks ago Kiki called me & said that she & our other sister were making each other CD's full of the worst songs ever as a joke. She needed suggestions & then asked what's on my ipod! To her most of my 80's stuff would be awesomely bad. Any hairband would be awesomely bad too. This morning while running I was flipping thru shuffle & realized just how many TRULY awful songs I own that NO ONE should admit to liking a single beat of let alone actually downloading & syncing. Here's some of my very worst.

I'll be brave...

Ring My Bell- you know that disco song from the 70's by the chick that can't sing?

Dance Hall Days by wang Chung. Why do I have this, I hate it!

Easy Lover by Phil Collins & Phillip Bailey. You know, back when Phil Collins looked like a greasy little rodent before he married the younger chick that helped him find soap, a stylist & a good haircut?

He Said, She Said by Ashley Tisdale. I like the chorus too much. Not enough to justify the three versions of it that I own though.

Hey Nineteen by Steeley Dan because it reminds me of the Solid Gold Dancers.

Come Clean by Hilary Duff. I think I saw the video so many times on the Disney Channel a few years ago that they actually convinced me that it was a real song.

I Hate U by Prince- the extended extra dirty mix.

I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford who dated the Backstreet Boy that beat Paris Hilton's face in. Yeah, her.

Michael McDonald's Ya Mo Be There because, well, I'm not sure.

We Don't Need Another Hero by Tina Turner. I'm not sure where this came from.

Then there's the batch of 80's girl groups that made club tunes. Expose, Sweet Sensation & The Cover Girls. I think I have every song ever made by all of them.

My sister would add Cutting Crews I Just Died In Your Arms Tonite to this list. I'll add that song, but the version by Jay-Z.

**Shudders**

Okay, I was brave, now it's your turn. Tell me some of the embarrassing stuff on your ipod!

In Three Days

Every week Alicia posts a new blogging topic and this weeks' just so happens to be...Vacations.

Could the timing be better considering we leave in three days for the beach? This year I'm feeling extra grateful that we're even going. Jobs have changed, the downstairs of my house was just completely redone from floor to ceiling & well gas prices are insane. Not to mention the cost of raising three divas that KNOW they are princesses.

Vacations were all but impossible during the back-to-back baby years. Even if offered I don't think I would have wanted to drive 4 hours with two babies born 11 months apart AND a toddler just to sit in sweltering heat & push a double stroller on the boardwalk. I think that might have been a bit hellish. In those days breaks were essential to everyday life & everyday bits of normalcy were essential to sanity. I'd stash myself away in the bathroom to read a book. I'd put the kids to bed & drag myself out onto the porch apple martini in hand to just breathe in the night air. I'd stay up extra late because it was the only time when I could hear myself think. Silence was golden and alone time was far more valuable than sleep.

Fastforward a few years and here we are. I still have three little girls but excursions and vacations are more than a head trip again! The beach is my favorite place on earth. Nothing feels TOO bad as long as sand is between my toes



I love taking the kids out early and letting them be the first ones to make footprints, trace sand hearts and attempt to build castles.



The fact that the water bubbles and gets all "fizzy" never gets old either.



My favorite part? Running alone on the boardwalk at 6am. Crazy huh? Seriously though, I love being OUT at such an early hour and being surrounded by other work out nuts. I love that with the sun still rising there is a weird blue cast over the water that only shows in photos at this time of day.



So in three days we'll be packing everyone up, anticipating making more memories like this one from last year:

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Done?

So I'm in hell. No really, 2 day migraine with no end in sight. The dining room is up to THREE coats of paint & still not covered enough. The kids fought so bad at 8am yesterday that I actually unplugged tvs & told them the power was out! They were brawling over Spongebob vs. Miley! It was a nice no tv, use your imagination day actually. Anyway, we decided to shorten the beach trip cause 6 days is too godamn many to be stuck together in a hotel room & I went to call to change our reservation. This is where the Tania-is-a-dumbass part starts. Ya ready?

I have the confirmation number. Have the rates. Have the room details. DO NOT HAVE THE HOTEL PHONE NUMBER and I cannot find it online. They've not charged my creditcard a hold fee yet so it wasn't there. I call J and don't want to admit I'm this dumb so the conversation goes..

Me: remember that link to our hotel that I sent you? Wanna bounce it back to me I need the correct hotel number to change the reservation.

Him: I think I have it but just call the main hotel number & they'll connect you to the correct one.

Sure. Except I DON'T KNOW WHAT FREAKIN HOTEL IT IS!

See? Total assclown dumbass!

40 minutes later I was pouring thru phone records, my cell call history until, VOILA', there was the Jersey 609 area code! I shortened our stay and more importantly, I wrote it ALL down.

Now anyway.

I Could Write Every Day About Emmy

Seriously. I could make a children's book out of living with her. She's like a cartoon character/teenager stuck in the body of a small girl. She's like a watchdog lately kicking her sisters out of the living room if they have food, telling everyone how to be nice, watching over B like a little mommy. The new thing is that if anyone says any remotely bad words they are informed by Em that they've all but committed a felony. Very matter of factly. The other day something happened & I started to say, "Oh F-F-F" and stopped myself. Emmy says outloud, "We do not say fuck that is a very bad word mom"

Kiki & I were both stunned, amused and then informed Em not to say it either. Like, ever.

This is the frequent Emmy:



Nutsy, happy but with a freakin bizarre sense of sytle. She is following Bridget logic. It's 95 degrees so she wore a hat & gloves all day! B wears her kitty boots when it's dry & sunglasses in the rain. See what I'm contending with here?

Anyway, the other day we were driving & Emmy got mad about something so she decided to piss Maya off. She told Maya that she has a big butt & Maya started to actually cry. I expected her to smack her but the meltdown was shocking. We were on our way to Wendy's & Kiki informed the kids that Maya & B were getting a Frosty but Em was not because she upset Maya.

Well, the drama. She got her kids meal, but no Frosty. She asked where hers was & was reminded that she was not getting one. She refused to eat for a good 5 minutes until I was getting up to "give back" her food. Then I got the glare down for the rest of our time there.

See?



She was furious & I was too far gone to really care much. Instead I was amused & took pictures :)

Old World Practices VS. Emmy

So there was a moment the other day between Emmy & J. He said something to her and her response was to stick her tongue out as a joke. He immediately snapped into super serious mode and chastised her for sticking her tongue out. His family is very old world and the old world culture was ingrained in all of them. Apparently sticking your tongue out is thought of as extremely rude. I had no idea but, whatever. I'll roll with that because if a chunk of the population takes serious offense at something then it's better they don't do it. Especially something as silly ultimately as that.

Yesterday we stopped in Walgreens & Em wanted the $3.20 (no lie) 4 pack of pudding. I said no flippin way but DID buy the pudding mix right above it for 40 cents. You get more & it's nearly 3 bucks cheaper. Well she was pissed off and had her arms crossed in front of her and was pouting when not staring holes thru me. Of course stomping was involved. I was highly amused by the over-diva-reaction which only made her madder. B walked out the door of Walgreens and somehow got her foot stuck thru the handle of an empty store back that just so happened to be on the ground. She's walking with the bag attatched to her leg flipping out over the situation and it was hilarious. Maya & I were laughing our heads off. Not Emmy. Nope. Hands folded, eyes rolling, still trying out for STOMP!

We get home & Em is doodling something furiously in her notebook. She rips it out and hands it to me with a smirk.

And One Time, When I Was Redoing My Living Room...

Oh boy.

You know how timing really is EVERYTHING?

Right, it is.

So today at approximately 3pm J & I drag the couch out the front door & heave it off the front porch. It is basically resting upside down in one of our normal parking spaces. We bagged up ALL the ripped up carpeting & floor padding & put that out there too. I have empty boxes of new flooring stacked on my porch. It is a flippin mess & the hauler was coming at 4pm. Said hauler is running late I found out. Not running late on this lovely July day are the foot police walking the neighborhood looking for, LOOKING for eyesores. Yards should be neat & tidy y'all.

I so shityoumothertruckinnot.

The chick cop was RABID. My neighbor knows her, babysat for her & sat she is a mean bitch, not that I needed that reaffirmed.

Me. Little miss anal about the flowers, things being swept, J having his manshit picked up. Me on the one day where things are less than that.

I almost busted out laughing right in the bitchpatrols face. The friggin irony as I stood there saying, "I have a hauler coming & he's running late..."

She just looked like uh-huh as I offered to SHOW her my mostly completed living room floor with just enough undone to prove it is a brand spankin new endeavor.

Fucking hilarity as I stood on my porch calling J in front of her half laughing on the phone while explaining the situation. Hauler should be here in 45 minutes. If he's not I'm screwed I think, LMAO.

With A Rebel Yell

Keylogger? Again? I'm not positive but my laptop has been running extremely slow & there was something that kept tripping spybot up yesterday & freezing it. Then last night he saw me & quickly clicked out of a program that looked much like a logger at a distance. Can I be 100 percent sure? No. Do I even care? No. I restored the hardrive because the system CLEARLY had a problem that is now fixed. Otherwise I just don't care because I don't say anything behind anyones back that I wouldn't say to their face.

It's ironic because if he actually spent ANY time with me talking he'd know everything there is to know. Nothing is hidden by any means, he is just to busy selfish to be bothered.

I keep hearing about how uneeded he feels. Well WTF. If you want to be part of the family then stop separating yourself from it then whining about it later.. Act like a 37 year old with a family rather than putting that second. Example, we were going to see fireworks, something that was planned with him. He CHOSE to go and "catch up" with drinking buddies & ended up passed out by 7pm the other night. Needless to say, he did not go & was not part of the family plan. In a way it's fine because I expect it but then to have him come back upset is ridiculous. Get your vices out of your own damn way already.

Oh & I'm a bitch.

No, really? I'm SURE I am at this point. Sure of it. When kindness & intelligence are replaced by booze & slights I'll hate your fucking ass REAL fast.

So this week, he is NOT working. What can make it even more stressful? Home improvements thats what.

I know, I hate you, you hate me so lets rip up some carpeting, lay a new floor, paint the downstairs, etc.

Somebody quick, come & slit my left wrist for me, kay?

I WANT to tackle the project but I don't know HOW we'll get along.

We'll either end up getting along better or someone will be strangled with the measuring tape for real.

Not Oblivious, I Just Pretend To Be

It's funny. The other day when I mentioned how different I see my life in even a year I got a bunch of questions in my mail. I sit here & some days I semi coast thru, other days I want to friggin kill someone but in the end, I know what's up. I've always known my bottom line.

I have three kids to raise. Three kids that need an education & I'm a realist. They are not brilliant- ok maybe one dances on the edge of brilliance- so I'm not going to have three college scholarships presented to my girls in another decade-ish. That's unrealistic. I've always, always known that I would need to become a decent breadwinner once the littlest one was in school. Funny how you watch a grown man for 12 years and you realize that he is just NOT going to ever get it together fully. If I were "dad" to these kids & I worked in sales my ass would have been back in night school like 5 years ago. By now I'd be looking for if not already having a solid career. The ducks would have been in a very straight row but then, that's just how I am. He never has done that, never will do that & so I've felt probably since having Emmy, like this is another responsibility left in my hands.

The fact that he has ALWAYS liked to throw the topic of money in my face has only propelled my NEED to earn more than him.

That said, I'm going to go thru flight attendant training next summer one way or another. It is supposedly hellish. 3 weeks pretty much straight you eat/sleep/drink procedure & safety stuff. They say it's like learning another language in record time & it will definetly not be here. If I got into Delta's program I'd train in Austin for example. I want & need to do this & I've felt that the soonest I can leave especially B is next summer. I wanted to go this year but her seperation anxiety made me decide to wait. As for actually working I'm able & willing to work all of the less popular shifts anyway because I'd want to be with the girls during school hours as much as possible.

I've also decided that within the next 3 years I want to buy a house. ME. A home for the girls and I. If I knew I could pull that off then I'd be ok with sitting right here for the next few years if necessary.

I see myself alone with the kids most definetly. I usually am anyway & I've come to realize that I prefer just my company to that of shitty company for the sake of having a set of eyes to glare into. I see myself as someone that will find my version of the love of my life, later on in life. My brain tells me that if I just get these kids settled, on track & out the door to college before making me a grandmother then I'll be rewarded.

My bottom line. I can wait another 12 months to go & train for a job I REALLY want if I know it'll happen. It just gives me more time to dot my i's.

I can wait to find that great house because I don't need to rush things at all. It will be in front of me when I'm ready for it.

I'll be in my late 40's when all of my kids are almost out of high school. That gives me 20ish years with someone, still.

Here But Kinda Not

I've been going to write for days. What exactly, have I been going to say? Oh who knows. Lots of different things that have no real connection to one another.

I could tell you how in the last few weeks this nifty internet thing has reconnected me with several people I haven't had contact with in years.

I could discuss my hair dilemma- to cut or not to cut. I'm pretty sure it's not going anywhere, yet. But I loathe humidity hair.

I could tell you ALL about how J's roomate in Memphis stole J's rental car, went to jail, was bailed out & then rearrested because he had a cokestash in THEIR hotel room. I could also tell you about how J gets on a plane late tomorrow with no drivers license because the roomate stole that as well. I could venture into my "Keep your godamn drama THERE, do not bring it into my house" speech. I could tell you that I have crazy amounts of peace when he is gone & the return is usually an instant whiplash of drama. So ahead of time I'm doing the math...home Weds. leaves for Pittsburgh Sunday...okay I can handle that...

I could tell you about the brand new itouch that he bought for me before leaving last week & how quickly I uploaded 700 music files & 1500 photos to it. With a smile.

I could tell you that I'm insanely plotting a princess pajama party for later in July. I know this will also kick J's ass into gear. He keeps threatening to redo the living room only to procrastinate. The way I see it by July 25th I'll have a house of screeching happy girls, a crew of of martinied up moms, PLEASE GOD NO MORE KITTENS and a new living room to be grateful for.

I could tell you that I'm looking for another home for us, closer to the school. Another of those take matters into my own hands things. It'll take months probably to pin down a place but if I can have us closer to the school by November even...I'll be thrilled.

I could tell you that I'm counting the 28 days until I get to the beach. I can smell the water, feel the sun and need to run on the boardwalk early in the morning.

I could tell you I'm prepping for those runs by running 25 minutes a day now overday hoping to build up stamina by months end.

I could tell you that a year from now I see my life quite a bit different than it is right now and I like that.

To Board or not to Board

So, for over a week now J KNEW he would be working in Mississippi this week. It was "positive" at the beginning of last week. By the end of last week he was suddenly not so positive & might, maybe work near Philly again this week. All the while though he was adament about going to Mississippi in the end. By Friday I heard that he was driving up to a coworkers in NY on Sunday & then they'd drive down to NYC for early Monday morning & fly out together. Then that wasn't going to work so he had to get himself to Laguardia instead. I suggeested flying straight out from here because by the time he drove 2 hours & parked his car for a week it might be worth the extra cost to just leave from here. Close to 200 bucks for him to park plus gas...

Then on Sunday it looked like he might DRIVE with another guy...18 hour drive... That turned into a clusterfuck & wasn't going to happen either. Mind you J was here from Saturday night thru late Sunday connected to his friggin phone the whole time wasting family time in order to figure out "where the hell I need to be, when & how"

I get it, totally. He HAD to sort it out but in the back of my itty bitty head I'm wondering WHY he let it all wait til the last second. Why doesn't he HAVE a plane ticket & all HIS ducks in a row? You know if everyone around you is a scatterbrain why are you waiting for those people to basically call the shots, make up your mind, committ & breathe already.

LATE Sunday night he came in & by that time I didn't even ask the plan. I woke Monday morning & quite literally asked if he had work because at that point who knew! He said he had to be to Laguardia for 12:30. It's 7:30am & he is barely moving. I'm thinking WTF? 12:30 means 10:30 & you have at LEAST a 2.5 ride into the city given the morning commute.

He leaves at 8:30 and still has to go to the bank. He had just finished packing too. Ducks so not in a row. Needless to say, dude did NOT make that plane nor did he try! By 10:30 he was here on the computer staring blankle at flights to Memphis which is the closest airport to where he needs to be. I'll make what transpired over the next few hours short but I finally came to the conclusion that he is CHICKENSHIT to fly alone. There were 3 ALMOST runs to the airport before he finally went only to claim the intended flight was overbooked LMAO. Now, it could have been because in between dying of laughter at his expense though not to his face I was on Wilkes Barre Scranton's International Airport site & he goes from here to Detroit then to Memphis. Detroit flights were delayed until the time of his intended flight so it could have been overbooked.

Going back to yesterday morning he was never getting on that plane at Laguardia. The man I know would have been packed & schizing about being out the door with time to spare.

And he would have set his alarm!

Where is he now? I just talked to him, he is boarding his flight I pray in about 5 minutes, should hit Detroit by 7pm & land in Memphis for 9ish.

I hope.

Because after the drama of just watching him I need to be alone for probably the next week, LOL.