The Good, The Bad- And All That Other Stuff In The Middle

Ever just keep letting things pile up when it comes to blogging? Something happens and you think, "Oh, that's a post!". Except that it's not because you're too busy or whatever? I've had about a week of those.

On Monday the girls and I did some shopping. I found myself in the middle of that excursion thinking, "How did I get HERE?"

I remember years ago thinking these days would never come. Days where I'm surrounded by fully functional little people that are pretty independent and opinionated. I thought I'd be stuck chasing babies forever. I was SURE that would be the case. Now all of a sudden I walk into Justice and my kids scatter. They all have an agenda and they are all uniquely different. One heads for boots, the other for necklaces and the little one wants animal erasers. Then we went to Bookters (Borders), grabbed some stuff and fought (seriously, some huge dude THOUGHT he was going to take a table that seated 6 and got pissed when I zoomed in there in front of him)for a table in the cafe. We sat there for a long time and I watched 3 little people engrossed in their new books while drinking cocoa. I think it'll be a favorite memory even when I'm ancient.

The bad? Maya needs more eye surgery. We can't get the pressure in her eye down for anything. It should be in the teens & she has been between a 27-29 since Sept. Extended time with it that high leads to bad stuff like retina tears,glaucoma, etc. so it HAS to come down. Her fab doc started her on yet another $120 dollar for .5 ml eye drop at bedtime. It burns, causes irritation and redness etc. Not fun. We're looking at a laser procedure soon to lower pressure and if that doesn't work then back into the OR she goes.I am praying the lasering does the trick. This poor kid has been thru so much and never, ever complains about it.

Ever.

We'll end with more good. My interview from the other week is going into the best (brightest, glossiest) skating mag around. Lots of advertising in there & you know what that means? Righttttt. More money to pay me with :)  I also am lining up a bunch of stuff now which is great. I've been busy & busy means happy here.

I think I want a little tree for my bedroom.  Is that weird?

Books (First Edition)

Images from We Love It.

Secrets...

...to a happy Sunday:

~ Kitchen dance party

~ Pajama morning

~ Long walk (where I LEARN everything about everyone these kids know)

~ Park time

~ Bookstore & Cocoa

~ Family dinner (Actually that & family walks are a daily secret here.)

~ Art project for school (Anti-Bullying posters with slogans they have dreamed up)

~ Movie time.

(*** If I can somehow clean the house from top to bottom & get all the laundry done too...it'll feel like Christmas ;)***)

I Should Be Sleeping...

...Because I am THAT kind of tired but still have a ton to do before I can crawl into bed. Random thoughts bouncing in my head before I pretend to be alive again.

~  Shoes seem to multiply now like Cheerios used to when I had babies. Pick up a pair & two more appear almost instantly.

~  Yep. I still hate telling/begging/ordering kids to get into the shower. It's my dreaded daily chore. Do they REALLY have to be clean? Really??

~  Seeing the inside of TWO bookstores this weekend = A. Good. Weekend.

~  I forgot to pick up sugar. My coffee tastes like dirt. Let me rephrase, my overpriced, freshly home ground Starbucks Carmel Coffee tastes (still) like DIRT.

~  I ALWAYS forget something while out & realize the moment I walk thru the door. Like today, we were greeted with cats charging at us. Forgot their food & immediately walked back out to get it. Kids loved that.

~  I could have been remarried yesterday. So glad that I'm not.

~  I should maybe, probably definetly get the orange Great Pumpkin lightbulb out of the porch hanging light. Speaking of that light...

~...My mailman smacks his head on it daily. I mean he has told me he ducks under to come onto the porch but collides with it when leaving. Every day. Thought he was kidding until I finally was lucky enough to see it for myself the other day. And I'm evil. I totally made fun of him & he laughed at how hard I was laughing. Somehow I think even if he wasn't slugging Vodka all day (No really, he ADMITS it.) it would still happen.

~  My kids father made this counties Most Wanted list for child support. They contacted me to let me know & let me tell ya, the picture that accompanies his info is ROUGH. I'll save that topic maybe for tomorrow. Can't get stuck in my head tonite.

~  Open House Party on Sunday nights inevitably reminds me of high school.  That would go off & some headbanger thing (Rockline maybe?) would lull me to sleep.

What?  You've never fallen asleep to Whitesnake?
~ 

The Little Things

I am exhausted tonite. This post won't be long, I promise you. The kids are out of school tomorrow at 11am & I'm out of work. I need a break. I feel like I could sleep thru the weekend.

Today they were also out early so we came home & had a quick lunch & then headed off to Borders. My perfect afternoon. We spent forever in the kids section picking out new books & then headed over to Seattle's Best for cocoa & coffee.I'm a bookworm. A word nerd. I've worked in a library & being surrounded by an army of characters in a thousand books is such a safe feeling for me. How can you feel alone when those shelves are lined with stories about people that are relatable. Real or imagined, we are all connected. My story is at least in part yours too. To have little kids that grasp this makes me so happy. To hear them want to go to a book store & love the experience as much as I do- it's a gift for me. Throw a mini fit because you have to narrow it down to two books rather than three. Dump cocoa on your coat. Nothing can ruin the joy in knowing that a bag from Borders makes them as happy as it makes me.

Kiss It Goodbye!

2009 that is! It has been a jam packed year here. Mixed with both good & bad. I have struggled to make my life with my girls truly OUR life. I think I have really finally succeeded here & maybe it's the most important thing I've accomplished all year. They are very happy. They are doing well in school & they have formed good friendships. B has Brianna who loves her right back just as much. B is a brainiac and still the kid that everyone loves. Emmy has found Maggie, a girl whose family is splitting up. Emmy told me the other day that she told Maggie that her dad is in jail & that he had been very mean. Why? Because Emmy didn't want Maggie to feel like the only one in second grade with a dad that lives elsewhere. I asked Em where he lives now & Em in true Emmy fashion responded, "Oh he's a hobo & he lives in a hobo house." Emmy loves using the word hobo. But that at 7 she understood the concept of sharing something serious to make Maggie feel better, I was so proud. Another morning her friend Kayla's mom approached me. We talk often so that in itself was no biggie but she wanted to tell me about a playground incident. A new girl literally knocked Kayla on the ground at recess. Emmy was the only one to physically intervene the other kids just watched. Em pulled Kayla up & got in between the new girl & Kayla. She informed the kid that we do NOT hurt others and to keep their hands to themselves otherwise they'll be visiting the principal who she happens to know personally. (Mr. B the new principal grew up with my dad.) Em started the year off sick as a dog because of her gall bladder. I remember back in March carrying her across the school playground to get B into kindergarten because Em was seriously too weak to make it herself. She was weighed a few weeks ago and has gained 8 healthy pounds since then and is full of life. Maya is slowly transforming from quiet girl into one that speaks her mind. She also has an equally quirky BFF named Brooklyn. Sweetest girl and she is artistic & creative so they have tons in common. They speak the same language.

We have our routines. My sister Kiki is still around a lot and super involved. My mother comes & goes. She pops up maybe every 6 weeks & I figure if I expect nothing then its easier to see her small gestures in a good light.

What have I personally learned? That I'm stronger than I realized. I could face my ex in court and make sure that he gets his deserved punishment. I could look him dead in the eyes & testify against him because it was the right thing to do. It was what I needed to do to take care of myself & to protect my own little world. I also learned that I happen to love my independence. I love having someone to love but I also love my alone time. I have no problem putting the kids to bed & spending the rest of the night alone.I am comfortable in my own skin & feel no need to cling to anyone for any reason.

Friendships have been reignited. New friends have come & gone already. I have juggled up to three jobs at a time to take care of everything on my own here and I'd have it no other way. I'll never be dependent on a man ever again. I now know that most relationships don't last and thats ok. They teach you something along the way and as long as you take that with you, you'll be fine.

The important lessons were broken up by trips to the park, girls nights' out at The Hardware Bar, trips to "Bookers" (Borders) with my trio of girls that all now love books, coffee runs, birthday parties, early morning runs, hysterically funny phone calls and all the other things that make life worth hanging on for.

2009 has been a productive year. I think the girls & I have all learned a lot & really grown. That's what it's all about in the end, isn't it?