2009 that is! It has been a jam packed year here. Mixed with both good & bad. I have struggled to make my life with my girls truly OUR life. I think I have really finally succeeded here & maybe it's the most important thing I've accomplished all year. They are very happy. They are doing well in school & they have formed good friendships. B has Brianna who loves her right back just as much. B is a brainiac and still the kid that everyone loves. Emmy has found Maggie, a girl whose family is splitting up. Emmy told me the other day that she told Maggie that her dad is in jail & that he had been very mean. Why? Because Emmy didn't want Maggie to feel like the only one in second grade with a dad that lives elsewhere. I asked Em where he lives now & Em in true Emmy fashion responded, "Oh he's a hobo & he lives in a hobo house." Emmy loves using the word hobo. But that at 7 she understood the concept of sharing something serious to make Maggie feel better, I was so proud. Another morning her friend Kayla's mom approached me. We talk often so that in itself was no biggie but she wanted to tell me about a playground incident. A new girl literally knocked Kayla on the ground at recess. Emmy was the only one to physically intervene the other kids just watched. Em pulled Kayla up & got in between the new girl & Kayla. She informed the kid that we do NOT hurt others and to keep their hands to themselves otherwise they'll be visiting the principal who she happens to know personally. (Mr. B the new principal grew up with my dad.) Em started the year off sick as a dog because of her gall bladder. I remember back in March carrying her across the school playground to get B into kindergarten because Em was seriously too weak to make it herself. She was weighed a few weeks ago and has gained 8 healthy pounds since then and is full of life. Maya is slowly transforming from quiet girl into one that speaks her mind. She also has an equally quirky BFF named Brooklyn. Sweetest girl and she is artistic & creative so they have tons in common. They speak the same language.
We have our routines. My sister Kiki is still around a lot and super involved. My mother comes & goes. She pops up maybe every 6 weeks & I figure if I expect nothing then its easier to see her small gestures in a good light.
What have I personally learned? That I'm stronger than I realized. I could face my ex in court and make sure that he gets his deserved punishment. I could look him dead in the eyes & testify against him because it was the right thing to do. It was what I needed to do to take care of myself & to protect my own little world. I also learned that I happen to love my independence. I love having someone to love but I also love my alone time. I have no problem putting the kids to bed & spending the rest of the night alone.I am comfortable in my own skin & feel no need to cling to anyone for any reason.
Friendships have been reignited. New friends have come & gone already. I have juggled up to three jobs at a time to take care of everything on my own here and I'd have it no other way. I'll never be dependent on a man ever again. I now know that most relationships don't last and thats ok. They teach you something along the way and as long as you take that with you, you'll be fine.
The important lessons were broken up by trips to the park, girls nights' out at The Hardware Bar, trips to "Bookers" (Borders) with my trio of girls that all now love books, coffee runs, birthday parties, early morning runs, hysterically funny phone calls and all the other things that make life worth hanging on for.
2009 has been a productive year. I think the girls & I have all learned a lot & really grown. That's what it's all about in the end, isn't it?
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