Truly Random

Hi there. I love coffee. I hate beans. I am better at arguing than you. You are better at cleaning out the fridge than me. I think LL Cool J videos are the perverbial bomb. I sing, badly. I am a sarcastic fuck. Fat girls asses in bikinis look like a hundred pounds of chewed bubble gum. I'd rather try to get smoke inside of a glass bottle using a baseball bat than listen to someone complain. I wish I was a pole dancer just so I could say "I'm a stripper" when asked what I do for a living, then step back and watch the inevitable bad reaction. I believe in treating people how you want to be treated. I am a sucker for reality tv. Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. I am busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. Materialistic people crack me up, because they actually think they are happy. Thinking that we are the only ones in the universe makes you nuttier than a squirrel terd. American Psycho and Silence of the Lambs should be in the comedy section of Blockbuster right next to Starship Troopers & all The Mummy movies. . Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Pop Up Video should NOT have been canceled. Saying "thank you" and "please" is extremely important. I pretty much live for music and humor. Those dating phone service commercials on late at night always feature fugly chicks from 1987. If you let your friends drive drunk, you have no soul. I think shit-talking on the internet is about as useful as trying to kill an elephant by throwing a tic tac at it. I love people watching at bars. People look funny when they're mad. I WILL beat you at your own game. The fact that Bill Paxton was killed by an Alien, the Predator, AND the Terminator should AUTOMATICALLY qualify him for an academy award. Holidays are over-rated. Dave Chappelle is a viable GENIUS. I love the beach. I'd like to watch Gary Busey and Rosie O'donnell grind each other on a dance floor to a Billy Ocean tribute band. I love Vanilla everything. Laughter can cure more than you think. Fast food is so bad for you, but sooooo good. Spell check is one of the best inventions next to the wheel. . Paul Walker is about as good of an actor as Keanu Reeves. I wish I could use the Jedi mind trick on people. The "25 year old balding/comb over jacuzzi mcdougal", and the "Drunk white girl who can't dance" are the best people to stare at while at a club. Money doesn't impress me. When I say I'm home alone I usually mean that it's just me...with the 3 kids, cats and maybe a hermit crab. Jason Stratham is always worth saving to my hard drive.


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