Thursday, December 31, 2009
Kiss It Goodbye!
2009 that is! It has been a jam packed year here. Mixed with both good & bad. I have struggled to make my life with my girls truly OUR life. I think I have really finally succeeded here & maybe it's the most important thing I've accomplished all year. They are very happy. They are doing well in school & they have formed good friendships. B has Brianna who loves her right back just as much. B is a brainiac and still the kid that everyone loves. Emmy has found Maggie, a girl whose family is splitting up. Emmy told me the other day that she told Maggie that her dad is in jail & that he had been very mean. Why? Because Emmy didn't want Maggie to feel like the only one in second grade with a dad that lives elsewhere. I asked Em where he lives now & Em in true Emmy fashion responded, "Oh he's a hobo & he lives in a hobo house." Emmy loves using the word hobo. But that at 7 she understood the concept of sharing something serious to make Maggie feel better, I was so proud. Another morning her friend Kayla's mom approached me. We talk often so that in itself was no biggie but she wanted to tell me about a playground incident. A new girl literally knocked Kayla on the ground at recess. Emmy was the only one to physically intervene the other kids just watched. Em pulled Kayla up & got in between the new girl & Kayla. She informed the kid that we do NOT hurt others and to keep their hands to themselves otherwise they'll be visiting the principal who she happens to know personally. (Mr. B the new principal grew up with my dad.) Em started the year off sick as a dog because of her gall bladder. I remember back in March carrying her across the school playground to get B into kindergarten because Em was seriously too weak to make it herself. She was weighed a few weeks ago and has gained 8 healthy pounds since then and is full of life. Maya is slowly transforming from quiet girl into one that speaks her mind. She also has an equally quirky BFF named Brooklyn. Sweetest girl and she is artistic & creative so they have tons in common. They speak the same language.
We have our routines. My sister Kiki is still around a lot and super involved. My mother comes & goes. She pops up maybe every 6 weeks & I figure if I expect nothing then its easier to see her small gestures in a good light.
What have I personally learned? That I'm stronger than I realized. I could face my ex in court and make sure that he gets his deserved punishment. I could look him dead in the eyes & testify against him because it was the right thing to do. It was what I needed to do to take care of myself & to protect my own little world. I also learned that I happen to love my independence. I love having someone to love but I also love my alone time. I have no problem putting the kids to bed & spending the rest of the night alone.I am comfortable in my own skin & feel no need to cling to anyone for any reason.
Friendships have been reignited. New friends have come & gone already. I have juggled up to three jobs at a time to take care of everything on my own here and I'd have it no other way. I'll never be dependent on a man ever again. I now know that most relationships don't last and thats ok. They teach you something along the way and as long as you take that with you, you'll be fine.
The important lessons were broken up by trips to the park, girls nights' out at The Hardware Bar, trips to "Bookers" (Borders) with my trio of girls that all now love books, coffee runs, birthday parties, early morning runs, hysterically funny phone calls and all the other things that make life worth hanging on for.
2009 has been a productive year. I think the girls & I have all learned a lot & really grown. That's what it's all about in the end, isn't it?
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
It Would Be Nice If Something Made Sense for A Change
Or maybe it's just not supposed to? I think I'm done even thinking things will ever make sense. I need to just really, truly go with the flow rather than say I do. I started off December (THIS month) decorating my house. 25 days later I have packed up that entire house, moved it, reorganized, hung pictures as well as Christmas lights and settled IN. By IN I mean, there are no boxes. There is nothing left to hang. No pile of things to do later. We live HERE in spite of living THERE just a minute ago. My relationship THERE was one of comfort. We were solid. We would get married. I was plotting a dress, music, etc. I willingly stayed up until he got in from work at 1am because I WANTED to. Add 3 short weeks of chaos and I have learned an EXTREMELY valuable lesson. Patrick is a phenomenal guy when its all easy. He loves me loves the girls and we are lucky. When things get tougher & he is actually NEEDED he crumbles. Common sense eludes him and I have been left dealing with in essence another child. Something I don't need. I have been left to feel like he not only doesn't have my back but worse, he doesn't UNDERSTAND that he doesn't have my back. I can not make him grasp things that are beyond him. Finally had to accept that this is pretty much DOA. Mr. Right Now on a good day (provided I could ever stand the sight of him again which in itself is iffy) but definetly not Mr. Right.
It's a blur, this past month. Every inch of my both & mind has been raked across crushed glass yet I somehow feel just fine. Not the kind of fine that you lie & say you are before escaping into the bathroom to cry a million tears in private. But really, just fine.
I need to write again. I've let everything get in the way of just purging & it'll be one of the things I work on this year. Daily.
It's a blur, this past month. Every inch of my both & mind has been raked across crushed glass yet I somehow feel just fine. Not the kind of fine that you lie & say you are before escaping into the bathroom to cry a million tears in private. But really, just fine.
I need to write again. I've let everything get in the way of just purging & it'll be one of the things I work on this year. Daily.
A Few Pics
First Grade Polar Express Party
First Grade Holiday Concert (B is in the front in candy cane tights)
Our Tree
Christmas Day Crazies
First Grade Holiday Concert (B is in the front in candy cane tights)
Our Tree
Christmas Day Crazies
Ya Know Those Idiots That Go To Movies At Midnite Openings? I'm Officially WORSE
3am?? 3am. Yes, Kiki & I went to see New Moon at 3am, along with hundreds of other people I might add. Was it worth it, at 3 in the morning when I could have been home suggled in my bed? Yes it was. I know it's supposed to be the weakest of the series and I still loved it. Jacob who? It's all still about Edward.
It's Starting Already!
Generally, I have a pretty healthy family. Rarely get the flu. We usually are okay until January. I get walking pneumonia, my girls get bronchitis. Last year we all had a form of Strep instead. I figure, we live in the northeastern part of the country, it is COLD here in winter, of course we get sick. Walk outside and take one big gulp of cold air and if you're really unlucky and it goes straight to your lungs BAM! Pneumonia almost overnite! I know because I have DONE it.
School has been back in session for about six weeks and when I say everyone I do mean everyone has some variation of sickness. I have been commenting for the past two week on how empty the playground has been in the morning. When my daughter goes to lineup with her class and the line consists of ten kids rather than nineteen- it's bad. When quizes are postponed because too many kids are out sick to give a quiz- it's bad.
The thing is, the kids that are there, most of them are teetering, mine included. A mild sore throat, a cough, congestion galore. No one is really full-blown healthy! A neighboring school district shut down completely at the end of last week because 30% of its' students were out sick. Over 850 kids! Flu shots are just becoming available here. Usually families get them BEFORE there is a hint of sickness. The school district has sent home letters directing parents on new protocol. Kids MUST be home for 24 hours after a fever has broken. A bout with the flu equals at least 3 days off, if not five. I wonder how this will affect truancy issues here. Normally 6 or 7 days absent without a doctors excuse and you risk a letter threatening to drag you to the magistrate for truancy. That general rule, I would think, would have to be revised.
I've been told that our entire school distric was approved for the Swine Flu vaccine. I'm not sure how if they intend to make it mandatory or even if they should. I know many parents are equally divided on the issue. Many moms that I've talked too are going above and beyond to keep their kids healthy and to them it means any and all vaccines will be administered. Others are extremely worried about sickness, but equally concerned about a vaccine that has been rushed into existence.
I would love feedback on this. Are you experiencing a similar increase in sick kids in your area? Where do you stand on the Swine Flu vaccine? It's my opinion that everyone is entitled to do what they believe is in the best interest of their child, but I love fielding opinions and being challenged to thing about things differently.
School has been back in session for about six weeks and when I say everyone I do mean everyone has some variation of sickness. I have been commenting for the past two week on how empty the playground has been in the morning. When my daughter goes to lineup with her class and the line consists of ten kids rather than nineteen- it's bad. When quizes are postponed because too many kids are out sick to give a quiz- it's bad.
The thing is, the kids that are there, most of them are teetering, mine included. A mild sore throat, a cough, congestion galore. No one is really full-blown healthy! A neighboring school district shut down completely at the end of last week because 30% of its' students were out sick. Over 850 kids! Flu shots are just becoming available here. Usually families get them BEFORE there is a hint of sickness. The school district has sent home letters directing parents on new protocol. Kids MUST be home for 24 hours after a fever has broken. A bout with the flu equals at least 3 days off, if not five. I wonder how this will affect truancy issues here. Normally 6 or 7 days absent without a doctors excuse and you risk a letter threatening to drag you to the magistrate for truancy. That general rule, I would think, would have to be revised.
I've been told that our entire school distric was approved for the Swine Flu vaccine. I'm not sure how if they intend to make it mandatory or even if they should. I know many parents are equally divided on the issue. Many moms that I've talked too are going above and beyond to keep their kids healthy and to them it means any and all vaccines will be administered. Others are extremely worried about sickness, but equally concerned about a vaccine that has been rushed into existence.
I would love feedback on this. Are you experiencing a similar increase in sick kids in your area? Where do you stand on the Swine Flu vaccine? It's my opinion that everyone is entitled to do what they believe is in the best interest of their child, but I love fielding opinions and being challenged to thing about things differently.
The Angel of (FLU) Death Seems To Have Left
Mere hours after my last post a stomach virus invaded my house. Well no wait, first it invaded my boyfrieds car as we drove on the highway with my ten year old vomiting out the window. The image of that is much better than the reality. She spent all of Tuesday flat out. Much of the flat out was on my bathroom floor. Having three kids I know that when one gets sick, the other two will likely follow. And so it goes, as one recovered another got sick. I went to check on Emmy & B before going to bed Weds. night only to find them sleeping- sounds good right? Until I looked closer and realized Emmy had thrown up ON B.
Lysol. Prayer. Laundry. Repeat.
Yesterday afternoon was finally my turn. I had the stabbing (no really, I felt like I was seriously being STABBED) pain for a good 12 hours before getting sick. Sitting up equaled vomit so I was flat out on the couch buried beneath two kids and two cats. In my house if I'm sick my girls sweep into mini-caretaker mode. I'm covered in back rubs, hand holding and little bodies curled up beside me asking if I need anything.
This morning everyone is a bit better and I can honestly say this is the worst virus I've ever had. My girls are home today. B is perky but hasn't eaten more than crackers in three days. Emmy is STILL asleep, exhausted from being sick. It's going to take the weekend to regroup here.
Lysol. Prayer. Laundry. Repeat.
Yesterday afternoon was finally my turn. I had the stabbing (no really, I felt like I was seriously being STABBED) pain for a good 12 hours before getting sick. Sitting up equaled vomit so I was flat out on the couch buried beneath two kids and two cats. In my house if I'm sick my girls sweep into mini-caretaker mode. I'm covered in back rubs, hand holding and little bodies curled up beside me asking if I need anything.
This morning everyone is a bit better and I can honestly say this is the worst virus I've ever had. My girls are home today. B is perky but hasn't eaten more than crackers in three days. Emmy is STILL asleep, exhausted from being sick. It's going to take the weekend to regroup here.
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