Compliments Are Always Nice

The other day a friend messaged me on FB. I haven't seen her in years. Our kids are similar ages but have never met.  She has more kids than I do & we are both just plain busy. She thought it was important to take the time to tell me that my updates & photos make her happy? Why? Well, if you're on my FB then you know my status' end up being hijacked in the most hilarious ways. But she told me that I have some of the happiest kids she has ever seen. That you can see it in their eyes just how happy they are & that's a direct reflection on me.  She asked what I do different & I don't think I do anything necessarily different. I just do what works for us. Also, while I'm very independent & modern woman in my life seperate from the kids, I am an old school parent.  I believe there really is something to the way my parents & grandparents did some things.

Family dinners are a biggie.  Sometimes we cook together, we always clean up together. Kitchen dance parties are a daily occurence here. My kids want to sit down together & talk over dinner. I know we're all busy but I think if you're not making time most nights then you really are missing out on something valuable.

Instead of adding more afterschool enrichment activities I cut a lot OUT. Dance or art in the winter. Softball in spring & summer. That's it. They need to be kids. They need free time to use their imaginations and to play with their friends. Plus I don't buy toys for them to never be home to play with them.  They do their homework most nights & then the three of them play together. The current phase is with a big dollhouse & Monster High Dolls.

I don't plan something "fun" on every day off. I don't overbook them. They got "bored" over Christmas break & I was happy to hear it. They were well rested & ready to go back to school and learn.

Bookstores are now their favorite place too. It's not an in & out now let's go somewhere else kind of thing. We spend time their. After they pay for their books we get cocoa & they want to sit at a table in the cafe & read for awhile.  They never ask to go to a toy store, not ever. Bookstores make them happy.

I set an example for them. My goal is to show them that even though life can suck, people may hurt you or the bottom falls out- you pick yourself back up & get on with it. Life goes on, no big deal. If it's bad, it'll get good. If it's good then brace yourself because something bad will eventually happen. It's life.

I keep threatening to make a chore list but I really haven't had too. Maya & Em especially really clean up after themselves & do things to help me without me asking.

They know that I have their backs with the neighborhood bully, an unfair school situation or anything else. They absolutely know that I don't take crap & that I deal with situations head on.

They also know that I'm very fair & if they are in trouble then, they're in trouble.

Communication. Duh.  They can & do talk to me about everything. Sometimes I shudder at the questions & dodge or answer only as much as they need to have. But they can ask anything.

That's the no-brainer list of things that works here.