Thankful.

I Got Nothin'

Seriously. So much that I could say & it just tangles in my head and leaves me speechless. That's where I've been all week. Off in a corner shaking my head. I have been reminded to trust no one though this time the lesson is much less brutal. Why? Because I have completely dropped my expectations. People are scuzzballs that turn on each other as it suits them. Once you get this thru your head no one can shock you.

I am there.

Amazed at the pettiness.  Stunned to see others so happy to cause shock or hurt. I don't get it. I do understand that my expectations and personal code of friendship is/was a LOT different than that of others.

So I'm just...wow. Not really sad. Not really angry. Just- wow.

All that aside, go read this.

Go & meet Maddie.

People need to stop nit-picking, back stabbing & treating each other badly. At the end of the day we are all far more similar then we are different. We need to take care of each other a bit more knowing full well that it is the only way to even hope for good in our own lives.  Hug your babies. Read that extra story. Listen to your teenaged daughter rant. Lend an ear while your BFF vents 35 minutes longer you can keep your eyes open tonite. Suffer through his snoring. Don't bitch about the shoes she bought and certainly didn't need. It's all about the connections in this life. Be grateful for them.

I Should Be Sleeping...

...Because I am THAT kind of tired but still have a ton to do before I can crawl into bed. Random thoughts bouncing in my head before I pretend to be alive again.

~  Shoes seem to multiply now like Cheerios used to when I had babies. Pick up a pair & two more appear almost instantly.

~  Yep. I still hate telling/begging/ordering kids to get into the shower. It's my dreaded daily chore. Do they REALLY have to be clean? Really??

~  Seeing the inside of TWO bookstores this weekend = A. Good. Weekend.

~  I forgot to pick up sugar. My coffee tastes like dirt. Let me rephrase, my overpriced, freshly home ground Starbucks Carmel Coffee tastes (still) like DIRT.

~  I ALWAYS forget something while out & realize the moment I walk thru the door. Like today, we were greeted with cats charging at us. Forgot their food & immediately walked back out to get it. Kids loved that.

~  I could have been remarried yesterday. So glad that I'm not.

~  I should maybe, probably definetly get the orange Great Pumpkin lightbulb out of the porch hanging light. Speaking of that light...

~...My mailman smacks his head on it daily. I mean he has told me he ducks under to come onto the porch but collides with it when leaving. Every day. Thought he was kidding until I finally was lucky enough to see it for myself the other day. And I'm evil. I totally made fun of him & he laughed at how hard I was laughing. Somehow I think even if he wasn't slugging Vodka all day (No really, he ADMITS it.) it would still happen.

~  My kids father made this counties Most Wanted list for child support. They contacted me to let me know & let me tell ya, the picture that accompanies his info is ROUGH. I'll save that topic maybe for tomorrow. Can't get stuck in my head tonite.

~  Open House Party on Sunday nights inevitably reminds me of high school.  That would go off & some headbanger thing (Rockline maybe?) would lull me to sleep.

What?  You've never fallen asleep to Whitesnake?
~ 

My How You Have Grown- The Middle Child Edition!

Snail-ey

Snail-ey. That's what I call her because she is often found facedown, knees up to her chest wrapped in a blanket up to her neck. She looks like a snail for real. She is mini me, no question asked. We were at the bookstore the other day and she had to take her magazine & read it while drinking her cocoa. I asked if she was ready to leave after quite awhile & I was informed that she was not ready at all. She was still reading!  Kid is brilliant, except for the whole math issue.  Yeah, I haven't mentioned that have I? Second week of school they had 4sight testing which gives teachers an idea of where kids are at coming into a new year? Is that not the stupidest thing??? Coming off summer break, it's 98 degrees IN THE SCHOOL only adding to the extended summer feel, but hey- lets test them now! Anyway, the math portion had 10 seperate sections, each scored individually. Mind you the kids are NOT supposed to know this stuff yet (adding to the dumb). 100% is expected by JUNE, now average is still 50%. Well, Miss Brilliant (tm) up there was tired/didn't care/didn't know/colored in circles to make pretty designs/WTF ever. She got 100% on the oral section & obliterated the other 9. I mean seriously, 18, 22,16... WITH the oral averaged in she ended up with a total of 30%. THIRTY. "BELOW BASIC". Math *is* her worst subject which means she was a B+ student in math 2 years running.

This test, counted. They used it to gauge who needs extra help. Yep. She shaded her way into 90 minutes a day of afterschool tutoring *just in case* she really sucked that bad. I said, but she is a B+ math student and I actually heard from more than one person, "Yes but she is A+ in everything else so this would pull her up."

Really? Everything needs to be perfect? I didn't know that. I did cave & try the tutoring though just in case. Third grade math gets friggin hard friggin fast let me tell you. I wanted both of us covered in case she struggled. 

And then it all snowballed.

She is nervous about the math. She is overthinking it and changing answers that were originally right. She is in bed at night with a notebook making up problems to regroup & round on her own. (Then she is making up sentences & finding subjects & predicates no lie). Her mistakes for the most part have been careless ones or from overthinking. Then we go to tutoring. 90 minutes a day, of NO math! No really, NO math. The MATH GROUP has done homework, read library books, read stories and answered questions, had snacktime...but not done a SINGLE math problem. She was coming out at 4pm with homework to still do, dead tired saying "I wish we did math!". I gave it time to make sure the program was up & running, then I yanked her. She had a test last week that she completely melted down on. So bad that he had her retake it the next day. If she had been home & I had been able to help her she probably would have done better. Her teacher is awesome. Everything the kids get wrong he explains right beside the wrong answer. They get indiviual attention somehow. I think once she calms down and he & I just help her she will be fine. The meltdown retake test was an 82 & I have to tell ya I was relieved to see that. I feared worse, If meltdowns with her still pull a B I think we are going to be just fine.

Math tutoring, with no math. Seriously, WTH.

So Maybe There Are A Few...

...Halloween pics afterall...